Posted in Poetry, Uncategorized

An Artist’s Longing

Tears travelled well-worn and familiar paths down my cheeks, catching on the curve of my jaw for one suspended moment in time before they continued to fall. Sometimes my hands would catch them and sometimes the paper beneath would grow another mark. 

 

Time slowed, seconds, minutes, or hours may have passed. I know not which. Only that my heart ached as I poured out the feelings I couldn’t give a loud enough voice too. Scribbled words across paper stained with tears and sorrow. 

 

I longed to be held, but there was no one for such luxuries. I needed to pull myself together again and stop wishing for things I could not have. A soft touch, but one that held tight, even amidst the struggle and pains that life sometimes brought. 

 

Oh, but I longed, in the deepest parts of me, the ones I couldn’t fully explain. For such a simple yet fantastic thing as an affection that belonged solely to me. To know I could touch without restraint and be met in return with joy and comfort. 

 

My soul needed it like a flower needs the sun, I can feel it’s strength waning at times for the lack of it. Yet still I continued on. A little more wilted as time went on. My petals growing weary and pale as the days passed and my own did not come.

 

I can only take comfort in the fact that one day another such as I may find me and that together our stems and leaves will twine into a strong vine and our unique petals will reach for each other to live in colorful harmony and affection. 

Posted in Poetry, Uncategorized

The Moon Calls

Restless, I heard her call like I did every other night, unable to sleep as she cast her long, pale, silvery rays over the bed. 

 

Her beauty quieter than the suns, but no less rare or magnificent in her own right. I lay with my hand tucked under my cheek, hair across the pillow, watching and wishing. 

 

On clear nights I watched how she appeared to remain unchanged, yet knew she came to me as if brand new each night. On those nights I also wished for simpler times. 

 

On the nights where the clouds tried to block her out, I watched for her to make a bold appearance. Then I wished for you to do the same. My arm stretching across the empty side of the bed and hand grasping nothing but air. 

 

I danced my fingers over the shadows she cast, imagining it was your skin instead of the sheets. That I was able to trace every dip and curve of your body however I may have desired too.  

 

For a brief moment that night as my fingers restlessly skittered over the bed, I looked up from the silver lines on my arms to the moon peeking through the blinds, the clouds had seemed to vanish in that moment and it was as if she promised. 

 

That one day she’d cast her silver lines over your body beside me and grant my wish. She’d watch over me as I’d watched her through the years, tracing patterns over your skin with fingers and lips. 

 

When the rain would start to fall I’d know she wept at the beauty she herself longed for but would never have. And that as many nights as you laid beside me she would grant me access to you with her long, pale, silvery rays. 

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Always You

You pour into me and I overflow,
Words of love are not enough to describe how you make me feel.

My whole body reacts to you,
I light up from the inside out.

A smile that rarely leaves my face,
Never leaves my soul for you.

Throughout the good and bad times,
I am lighter for what you give to me.

You say our love is infinite and a part of me agrees, but the other part knows even that cannot describe what it means to love you.

I had many walls, built high and deep,
That others could not scale or simply helped create.

And one day I looked down and you had burrowed underneath: sitting, waiting for me to see, the beauty of your soul and the hand you offered me to take.

I can only hope you feel a fraction of what I do for you, as I continue floating in the sea of feelings you surround me in.

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Wonder

There were times I looked at him in wonder and times I looked at him and wondered.

I looked at him in wonder always for the man he was. So capable and beautiful. So smart and assured.

I looked at him and wondered what the future held. If our love would hold true. What he saw in me.

There were times I looked at him in wonder and times I looked at him and wondered.

I looked at him in wonder for the way he worked, took care of those he loved and strived for the life he wanted.

I looked at him and wondered where I fit sometimes. What my role would be and how I could support him.

I looked at him with all the love I knew to give and some I didn’t know I possessed. And I had little hope of surviving it intact, but knew I wouldn’t let him go unless he asked.

It didn’t really matter anymore the timing of it all. I knew I’d survive. I was a born fighter even though people forgot that. I’d survived worse. I’d survive this if it came to it. But I’d never be the same. And he’d always own a piece of my heart and I would never be the same regardless of the end.

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Distance Between

Being apart is a constant ache, a phantom pain, my body is my own and so is my mind, but you consume me so completely…

 

My heart may be in my body but you possess it so fully, there are times I am sure you must have it displayed in your hands.

 

My mind is so filled with your image and presence that there are times, especially in the quiet of the night that I can think of little, if anything else but you.

 

My lungs may breathe air as just another function, but the thought of you can make it leave on a gasp of longing, and for just a moment it leaves utter stillness. No air, just you.

 

I long to see your face, to hear your voice, for the moment when distance no longer separates us and I can look with joy upon you and know how sweetly you are mine as I am yours.

 

For the time when there is no end or beginning between us, when words are not always necessary but we speak a language all our own.

 

For the moment when the ache will cease as your head lays on the pillow next to mine, our hands intertwined, and that moment of bliss washes away what came before.

 

One day…