I sat in the valley, looking out over the horizon, green grass for miles over the hills. Colorful flowers and weeds, the trees and even the animals at a distance.
And I was soothed, not just on the surface, but something in this place and moment filled me to my core. A need that always went unspoken but somehow this place knew.
I wanted to laugh from the joy it brought me, yet found myself wiping away tears instead. How long since I’d felt such peace? It was a relief for however short a time to know that it was still to be found.
I wanted to lay back and sink into its embrace, and then you called my name. My eyes searched, catching yours as you moved towards me, all shadows in the fading light.
I smiled then, my heart filling to overflowing as you reached your hands out to me and I laid my hands in yours. You tugged my body up and towards you even as I made the leap.
Our bodies moved towards each other even as our souls intertwined. And I knew then that I would forever think of you in this place that brought me such joy long after you may have gone.
Life is terrifying but beautiful. Terrifying because almost every aspect has at least an element of the unknown. And yet beautiful for the very same reason.
So much chaos inside each person, the only certainties that you have been born and that you will one day die. What happens in between is up to you.
Some chose the path well travelled to avoid obstacles, but find little happiness. Often finding themselves wishing for something else or a dream they once cherished.
Others choose the path they must forge on their own. Fighting obstacles at every turn to get what they have so long desired. They are filled with drive even when others scoff at their dreams.
The first may know happiness but they often feel the sharp sting of regret as time passes. The second often feels regret each time they fall down. But once they attain what they set out for, their happiness knows no bounds.
I am the first even as I am the second. I traverse the path well worn if only to also follow the path that I choose for myself. I cannot lose sight of my dreams or I will fall prey to the common and mundane days that the world tells me I must suffer for stability and happiness.
The world can steal your dreams as the wind steals smoke from a fire. Yet a fire burns its own path with unrelenting force regardless of what surrounds it or the opinion of others. Be a fire for yourself and surround yourself with matches for the days when you forget how amazing you are.
It is a journey we each must take on our own. Regardless of those we are surrounded by. We must choose our path and learn to be at peace with our choice. Else there will be little contentment or joy in the constant void of what ifs and what might have been.
If nothing else, no matter the path you choose. Choose peace and contentment for yourself no matter the circumstances you find yourself in. There is no greater pain than living a life on how you are told too instead of the life you are meant too.
The years passed slowly while I was in them until they didn’t. Until time seemed to have flown away and I was left with only a thought of a dream.
I dreamed of you in the long, dark hours, until the sunrise kissed my face with its warmth. I hoped and wished for what may come but left it in the cool embrace of the dark each day.
Until I returned each night to gently pull it out and covet what was not yet mine. This thought that was my dream. Oh how you made me wish and wonder over you. And I was eager although unsure how to fully embrace what may come of it.
There has been none like you and so I know not how to handle the riot of butterflies you create inside me. Not just in my stomach you see, but all across my bones they wrap their wings before taking flight.
A blush steals across my cheeks and yet I cannot help but grin. Even as I start to vibrate with anticipation and also the unknown. You are not yet known to me. But you so easily know me that you have become a dream that nestles in my thoughts.
It’s the way your lover looks,
A twinkle in the eye,
A slight smirk on their mouth.
Their head tilts to one side as they stare.
It brings a flush of pleasure to you.
You know that look means they want you.
They preen and flirt with you then,
Teasing with what may come.
It can be gentle and filled with passion.
This game you play together.
A brush of their hand against your hair.
A stroke of yours across their face.
There’s no hurry or rush in it.
Only certainty because this person is yours.
So it builds throughout time and space.
This need and love you share.
Until such a time when you meet again.
Until the brightness they bring you overflows your body at the mere sight of them. Your joy knowing no bounds in that moment.
Until your arms are wrapped tight around the other. Until they press a kiss to your mouth and your world is set right. You take their presence in for as long as you can.
Lamenting the time when you will part again.
Until it is time for you to remain together.
Until a time when the distance no longer burdens you and your joy is never ending.
You pour into me and I overflow,
Words of love are not enough to describe how you make me feel.
My whole body reacts to you,
I light up from the inside out.
A smile that rarely leaves my face,
Never leaves my soul for you.
Throughout the good and bad times,
I am lighter for what you give to me.
You say our love is infinite and a part of me agrees, but the other part knows even that cannot describe what it means to love you.
I had many walls, built high and deep,
That others could not scale or simply helped create.
And one day I looked down and you had burrowed underneath: sitting, waiting for me to see, the beauty of your soul and the hand you offered me to take.
I can only hope you feel a fraction of what I do for you, as I continue floating in the sea of feelings you surround me in.
There were times I looked at him in wonder and times I looked at him and wondered.
I looked at him in wonder always for the man he was. So capable and beautiful. So smart and assured.
I looked at him and wondered what the future held. If our love would hold true. What he saw in me.
There were times I looked at him in wonder and times I looked at him and wondered.
I looked at him in wonder for the way he worked, took care of those he loved and strived for the life he wanted.
I looked at him and wondered where I fit sometimes. What my role would be and how I could support him.
I looked at him with all the love I knew to give and some I didn’t know I possessed. And I had little hope of surviving it intact, but knew I wouldn’t let him go unless he asked.
It didn’t really matter anymore the timing of it all. I knew I’d survive. I was a born fighter even though people forgot that. I’d survived worse. I’d survive this if it came to it. But I’d never be the same. And he’d always own a piece of my heart and I would never be the same regardless of the end.
Being apart is a constant ache, a phantom pain, my body is my own and so is my mind, but you consume me so completely…
My heart may be in my body but you possess it so fully, there are times I am sure you must have it displayed in your hands.
My mind is so filled with your image and presence that there are times, especially in the quiet of the night that I can think of little, if anything else but you.
My lungs may breathe air as just another function, but the thought of you can make it leave on a gasp of longing, and for just a moment it leaves utter stillness. No air, just you.
I long to see your face, to hear your voice, for the moment when distance no longer separates us and I can look with joy upon you and know how sweetly you are mine as I am yours.
For the time when there is no end or beginning between us, when words are not always necessary but we speak a language all our own.
For the moment when the ache will cease as your head lays on the pillow next to mine, our hands intertwined, and that moment of bliss washes away what came before.
My feet sinking into the sand.
The water lapping at my toes
The fierce waves crashing against the rocks.
The sound of children’s laughter floats all around me.
The spray of the ocean on my face.
The taste of salt on my lips.
The cool breeze whips through my hair.
The magnificent sun is starting to hide and it seems that the sky is alight with every color imaginable.
Everyone is leaving, but I stay to watch.
And as I stand there alone.
I think back to a time long forgotten.
To a time when I was a carefree child and the worries of the world had not yet hit me.
As I remembered a smiled played about my lips.
And as I watched summers end,
I realized something.
That although my carefree childhood days are over…
Life itself has only just begun.
The past is always clear.
The present is in the moment.
The future is an adventure waiting to happen.
I remember the past,
But I live in the present day.
I anticipate the adventure that tomorrow brings.
I do not dwell on the past.
I have made the decision to live in the present moment.
I look forward to the future of tomorrow.
I live one day at a time.
I don’t look back at what has already come to pass.
I have always lived in the day of today.
But I dream of what is to come.