An arrow is still an arrow, no matter what it’s tipped with at its start. Sugar or poison? What’s the difference…they will both kill you in the end once they find their mark, released from the bow of a skilled, yet terrible archer.
An arrow wrapped with sugar will cause an even slower death than that of its poison brother. Will still tear through your limbs and organs, rip apart your foundation until you are a bloody, sobbing mess on the floor. Harder to escape from its pain, because of the illusion of love it once gave you.
An arrow doused in poison will cause a quick death of the mind, but the heart is slower to catch up, the blood moving sluggishly through your veins even as your mind frantically tells you to react. Causing you to lay in agony, fearful of each day despite the power inside you. There is no illusion of love here, only control.
Give me neither sugar or poison from your damaged fingers and bitter mouth. Give me no illusion of love and adoration. Give me no marks or twisted deeds of your supposed control. Give me nothing of yourself, let me remain as I am. Broken but still standing. Dressed for the battle of another day, another night…
I do not long for your arrows of deceit. I long for your truth. Do you remember what that is for yourself? Give me the truest parts of your body, mind, and soul. I will bare the same to you. You needn’t rip me apart to succeed, I don’t need you to be whole again. I only need you to be capable of standing in both my light and shadows.
For you to witness what the sugar and poison tipped arrows of before have carved in me and to understand. I would be yours if you asked it. But I will always be mine. I will always know the truth even if I cannot give it voice. I will not cower from this tragic state. I will embrace the life I am meant to live.
They were like art, the way they moved together, living, breathing, glorious art that you could barely stand to witness and yet you could never tear your eyes away in their presence.
So fierce was their devotion and loyalty with their passion burning just as bright, you could be across a crowded room when they caught eyes and you felt it.
Time slowed like a thick molasses as their connection crackled and they spun a web around each other, catching those around them in it without even trying.
Bodies moving closer until it all snapped into place at the touch of their fingers, then their mouths. Damn, but were they art…in the purest form.
The kind of painting or sculpture brought to life most people see and ache at the sheer beauty of it, wish they were a part of it.
Sensual, hell downright sexual, they breathed each other’s air, bodies always touching, mouths seeking, paying no attention to those around them.
They never cared who witnessed their beauty. They weren’t putting on a show it was clear they only had eyes and thoughts for each other.
They just couldn’t help themselves, and when there’s art as beautiful as them in front of you, as bittersweet as it is at times, you simply can’t tear your eyes away from it.
Restless, I heard her call like I did every other night, unable to sleep as she cast her long, pale, silvery rays over the bed.
Her beauty quieter than the suns, but no less rare or magnificent in her own right. I lay with my hand tucked under my cheek, hair across the pillow, watching and wishing.
On clear nights I watched how she appeared to remain unchanged, yet knew she came to me as if brand new each night. On those nights I also wished for simpler times.
On the nights where the clouds tried to block her out, I watched for her to make a bold appearance. Then I wished for you to do the same. My arm stretching across the empty side of the bed and hand grasping nothing but air.
I danced my fingers over the shadows she cast, imagining it was your skin instead of the sheets. That I was able to trace every dip and curve of your body however I may have desired too.
For a brief moment that night as my fingers restlessly skittered over the bed, I looked up from the silver lines on my arms to the moon peeking through the blinds, the clouds had seemed to vanish in that moment and it was as if she promised.
That one day she’d cast her silver lines over your body beside me and grant my wish. She’d watch over me as I’d watched her through the years, tracing patterns over your skin with fingers and lips.
When the rain would start to fall I’d know she wept at the beauty she herself longed for but would never have. And that as many nights as you laid beside me she would grant me access to you with her long, pale, silvery rays.
Life is terrifying but beautiful. Terrifying because almost every aspect has at least an element of the unknown. And yet beautiful for the very same reason.
So much chaos inside each person, the only certainties that you have been born and that you will one day die. What happens in between is up to you.
Some chose the path well travelled to avoid obstacles, but find little happiness. Often finding themselves wishing for something else or a dream they once cherished.
Others choose the path they must forge on their own. Fighting obstacles at every turn to get what they have so long desired. They are filled with drive even when others scoff at their dreams.
The first may know happiness but they often feel the sharp sting of regret as time passes. The second often feels regret each time they fall down. But once they attain what they set out for, their happiness knows no bounds.
I am the first even as I am the second. I traverse the path well worn if only to also follow the path that I choose for myself. I cannot lose sight of my dreams or I will fall prey to the common and mundane days that the world tells me I must suffer for stability and happiness.
The world can steal your dreams as the wind steals smoke from a fire. Yet a fire burns its own path with unrelenting force regardless of what surrounds it or the opinion of others. Be a fire for yourself and surround yourself with matches for the days when you forget how amazing you are.
It is a journey we each must take on our own. Regardless of those we are surrounded by. We must choose our path and learn to be at peace with our choice. Else there will be little contentment or joy in the constant void of what ifs and what might have been.
If nothing else, no matter the path you choose. Choose peace and contentment for yourself no matter the circumstances you find yourself in. There is no greater pain than living a life on how you are told too instead of the life you are meant too.
The years passed slowly while I was in them until they didn’t. Until time seemed to have flown away and I was left with only a thought of a dream.
I dreamed of you in the long, dark hours, until the sunrise kissed my face with its warmth. I hoped and wished for what may come but left it in the cool embrace of the dark each day.
Until I returned each night to gently pull it out and covet what was not yet mine. This thought that was my dream. Oh how you made me wish and wonder over you. And I was eager although unsure how to fully embrace what may come of it.
There has been none like you and so I know not how to handle the riot of butterflies you create inside me. Not just in my stomach you see, but all across my bones they wrap their wings before taking flight.
A blush steals across my cheeks and yet I cannot help but grin. Even as I start to vibrate with anticipation and also the unknown. You are not yet known to me. But you so easily know me that you have become a dream that nestles in my thoughts.
The water has called to me since birth.
It’s depths an intriguing unknown, often filled with mystery and a layer of fear or doubt.
Still the darkness draws me to explore with languid strokes.
It’s shallows a playground, filled with laughter and life. I could linger there for hours watching and listening. Feeling it’s sweet embrace and never tire or not wish to return the moment we part.
Always it has caused me to ponder life’s meaning along with its many joys. Of what has passed, what already is and what may come.
The water leaves no room for lies whether to it or yourself. It draws out the secrets you hold even if in whispers and the wishes you thought may never come true.
The water gives clarity even during times of uneasiness. Draws you away from your past into the present, towards your future.
It is one of my greatest pleasures and dearest loves. Always I will return to the water for its promise of truth, peace and joys.
And so I will with you. For you are much like the water filled with unexplored hidden depths and joys. Waiting to be discovered. You are known and yet unknown, you see me as clearly as the ocean. Filled with mystery and light.
Let me swim in your depths and explore your shallows while showing you my own. So two oceans once separated can find their way again.
If I’ve said ten thousand words to you, there’s a million more I’ve withheld, quieting myself because I am bursting with words I can barely make sense of on my own.
They dance on the tip of my tongue, playing across my lips before my lungs suck the air back in and I let them go with a flick of my tongue across my lower lip.
At times biting until there is a metallic taste down to my soul. It brings me back to myself and I let it go. A small pain to save future misery.
My dark edges are difficult to understand, but we all have jagged souls from the people and things that have brought us to this point in our lives.
It’s only a question of how well your demons play with mine. And how well my demons accept your flaws for what they are. The sins of another are not yours to bear. But bear it you must when the time calls for it.
The past is not so easily forgotten and I have withheld a million words so that you better understand. I will not be a stepping stone, I will be forever or I will be a memory.
Give me everything or I am nothing to you. Give me your dark edges, your demons and I will find the light that is meant to be mine. In return I will give you all that I am or all that you can stand to hold of me.
Pain may come in waves over time.
But you have seen rougher waters then this and you still shine like a beacon.
You are the lighthouse on the horizon, a symbol of home and safety for the ones you love.
At times their ships have been unsteady and they have strayed from their path. But always you have guided them back.
A burning light, a solid haven planted deep in your foundation. Strong enough to withstand the waves that have passed and the ones that will come.
There is infinite beauty in your curves and stature, waiting and watching for your ships to reach your harbor.