Life is terrifying but beautiful. Terrifying because almost every aspect has at least an element of the unknown. And yet beautiful for the very same reason.
So much chaos inside each person, the only certainties that you have been born and that you will one day die. What happens in between is up to you.
Some chose the path well travelled to avoid obstacles, but find little happiness. Often finding themselves wishing for something else or a dream they once cherished.
Others choose the path they must forge on their own. Fighting obstacles at every turn to get what they have so long desired. They are filled with drive even when others scoff at their dreams.
The first may know happiness but they often feel the sharp sting of regret as time passes. The second often feels regret each time they fall down. But once they attain what they set out for, their happiness knows no bounds.
I am the first even as I am the second. I traverse the path well worn if only to also follow the path that I choose for myself. I cannot lose sight of my dreams or I will fall prey to the common and mundane days that the world tells me I must suffer for stability and happiness.
The world can steal your dreams as the wind steals smoke from a fire. Yet a fire burns its own path with unrelenting force regardless of what surrounds it or the opinion of others. Be a fire for yourself and surround yourself with matches for the days when you forget how amazing you are.
It is a journey we each must take on our own. Regardless of those we are surrounded by. We must choose our path and learn to be at peace with our choice. Else there will be little contentment or joy in the constant void of what ifs and what might have been.
If nothing else, no matter the path you choose. Choose peace and contentment for yourself no matter the circumstances you find yourself in. There is no greater pain than living a life on how you are told too instead of the life you are meant too.
The years passed slowly while I was in them until they didn’t. Until time seemed to have flown away and I was left with only a thought of a dream.
I dreamed of you in the long, dark hours, until the sunrise kissed my face with its warmth. I hoped and wished for what may come but left it in the cool embrace of the dark each day.
Until I returned each night to gently pull it out and covet what was not yet mine. This thought that was my dream. Oh how you made me wish and wonder over you. And I was eager although unsure how to fully embrace what may come of it.
There has been none like you and so I know not how to handle the riot of butterflies you create inside me. Not just in my stomach you see, but all across my bones they wrap their wings before taking flight.
A blush steals across my cheeks and yet I cannot help but grin. Even as I start to vibrate with anticipation and also the unknown. You are not yet known to me. But you so easily know me that you have become a dream that nestles in my thoughts.
The water has called to me since birth.
It’s depths an intriguing unknown, often filled with mystery and a layer of fear or doubt.
Still the darkness draws me to explore with languid strokes.
It’s shallows a playground, filled with laughter and life. I could linger there for hours watching and listening. Feeling it’s sweet embrace and never tire or not wish to return the moment we part.
Always it has caused me to ponder life’s meaning along with its many joys. Of what has passed, what already is and what may come.
The water leaves no room for lies whether to it or yourself. It draws out the secrets you hold even if in whispers and the wishes you thought may never come true.
The water gives clarity even during times of uneasiness. Draws you away from your past into the present, towards your future.
It is one of my greatest pleasures and dearest loves. Always I will return to the water for its promise of truth, peace and joys.
And so I will with you. For you are much like the water filled with unexplored hidden depths and joys. Waiting to be discovered. You are known and yet unknown, you see me as clearly as the ocean. Filled with mystery and light.
Let me swim in your depths and explore your shallows while showing you my own. So two oceans once separated can find their way again.
If I’ve said ten thousand words to you, there’s a million more I’ve withheld, quieting myself because I am bursting with words I can barely make sense of on my own.
They dance on the tip of my tongue, playing across my lips before my lungs suck the air back in and I let them go with a flick of my tongue across my lower lip.
At times biting until there is a metallic taste down to my soul. It brings me back to myself and I let it go. A small pain to save future misery.
My dark edges are difficult to understand, but we all have jagged souls from the people and things that have brought us to this point in our lives.
It’s only a question of how well your demons play with mine. And how well my demons accept your flaws for what they are. The sins of another are not yours to bear. But bear it you must when the time calls for it.
The past is not so easily forgotten and I have withheld a million words so that you better understand. I will not be a stepping stone, I will be forever or I will be a memory.
Give me everything or I am nothing to you. Give me your dark edges, your demons and I will find the light that is meant to be mine. In return I will give you all that I am or all that you can stand to hold of me.
Pain may come in waves over time.
But you have seen rougher waters then this and you still shine like a beacon.
You are the lighthouse on the horizon, a symbol of home and safety for the ones you love.
At times their ships have been unsteady and they have strayed from their path. But always you have guided them back.
A burning light, a solid haven planted deep in your foundation. Strong enough to withstand the waves that have passed and the ones that will come.
There is infinite beauty in your curves and stature, waiting and watching for your ships to reach your harbor.
Their silence kills what remains.
Their silence tells me all I need to know, even as they deny the truth. They are no longer sure and now their doubt causes mine.
All hearts are laden with baggage of the past, some pieces are to fresh and too heavy for hearts to overcome. They are to wrapped in bitterness and rage and will punish any that come after until they learn.
Learn that they have to lay down what they knew and thaw their heart, open it not just in thought to what could be. Separate it from the past and from the pain they have suffered.
Learn not to use another human as a stepping stone or temporary distraction for your rage. In that you do them a disservice and add to their baggage by telling them they are not worth anything more than what they can give to you when you call for them.
Their silence kills what remains, like a set of strings pulled to tight, on the brink of breaking. Pulled and pulled while your heart pounds faster until it’s breaking over you.
Waiting for the knife to drop that will wreck it all. A dull blade, already covered in your blood and tears from the attempts it’s made. The strings around your heart, once chains of steel. Now frayed and damaged. Past repair.
This time, this time you give them the knife they need to end it. No more dull swipes of the hand causing jagged cuts. Cuts your salty tears fill up each night so you look whole in the morning light.
No, this time you tell them to cut you deep and let you go. Or stop making you bleed with their selfish attempts to love you. There is too much fire in you to calmly accept a mediocre love. If I burn for them. They should not make me into ashes swept under the rug.
This poem was born from a collaboration with Sidharth of https://sweetdevil69.wordpress.com/
It was an entirely new process and inspiring experience for me and he was wonderful to work with. Be sure to visit and follow his blog. I am sure you will find something to enjoy or that speaks to you.
I dream about you, so wildly well
While on me, you cast your enchanting spell.
In me, your radiant spirit begins to dwell
& thoughts about you, make my heart swell.
The weary sun, gets overpowered by your eyes
Submitting to your grace, the teary moon, cries.
The envious stars, flame up the black skies
Dreaming about you, for me their splendor dies.
Nothing compares to the beauty you hold inside
I dream about you, for you are my pride.
But the distance between us, my heart cannot abide
As yearning your embrace, my desires are amplified.
Addicted to you, I dream day & night
Of our bond, that shall be blissfully bright.
Within me you breathe, someday we shall unite
& I’ll be enveloped in your love’s luminous light.
Till then treasure my love in your heart
Softly dream about me while sleeping in the dark.
Promise me, your passion for me will forever last
& our love will be a beautiful art.
Face set in stone
So composed you’d never know.
But look at their eyes and you’ll see a different story unfold
One of grief silenced by others needs.
One of pain bleeding into agony.
A silent scream leashed tight.
Until numbness sets in and they began to change. Not so you’d see or even notice until it was to late.
But slowly, over time, they evolved. They remained to those around them strong, steady and sure. But deep, down inside, they were unraveling.
Unraveling for all the feelings left buried and never expressed. For all the lost words and lost care.
So they picked up a pen and started to write. They bled into the paper what could never be right. Each character written from a cut deep inside, a wound that had went unattended for to long a time.
Until the paper turned red and their face crumpled in tears. Wet trails down their cheeks to the paper below as a silent sob escaped. Their fingers turned white from being clenched into fists.
Tomorrow would be a new day and the tears would be gone. But tonight the moon called and the words bled out with the tears held to long.